Goals! (On Decency)

For some time now whenever I have thought about my life goals it was to live a decent life. Career, house, cars, relationships: they come and go and it is not totally in my control to achieve these materialistic, egocentric ideas. I mean I am married, but I don't have children and I won't have children, though when I was in my twenties I was pretty sure I would be a mother one day. I can't drive and I will never have a car, but in my teens I was positive I would own one one day. My career is not up to me, I am limited by circumstances and opportunities of life. I can control only so much in my world. And the direction I want this control to go in is the direction of living a decent life. No matter what happens, I control my being decent and true to myself.
We all have a vague idea what decency is. How vague this idea is became obvious to me lately when someone actually asked me what I meant by my saying that I wish to be decent in life. I figured out I am not only unsure what this meant to other people, but I needed to reevaluate what this goal of mine means to me. Firstly, working. Never giving up on daily chores, no matter if I am depressed or not. Working full time, part time, educating myself, assigning myself with different tasks that get me out of bed early most days and give structure to my days, anything active depending on my actual life situation. Secondly, being true to my loved ones and myself. Taking care of family and friends. Sharing time and experiences. Be loyal, supportive and, well, just always be faithful. Relationships, if they are solid, they have infinite value in my life. So once I call somebody a friend or a husband or a member of my family, this holds the responsibility for me to try, as long as I am not deceived. Or hurt too much. Or used too much. Thirdly, not being greedy. On different levels. The goods of this world were meant to be shared, not consumed. Just my approach to stuff. And fourthly, trying not to do too much harm to others, especially conscious harm. It isn't easy. I just wish to try.
This is my approach to goals. These are goals that I feel I have some power and control over achieving. Happiness is also one of my further goals, but this is so hard to obtain given we are coscious creatures that know of the horrors of life, so joy seems to come and go like some kind of wandering spirit. I like my decency goal because it is mine. It concerns me and my behaviour and I can create my life basing on my values, not driven by wanting things that others have. Not to say having things is wrong. Just, for me, I don't want to make them the focal point of my world. They're nice, but not the most important.
It was valuable to think what decency meant for me. Making this vague idea clearer. It is certainly my point of view. Just sharing, hoping someone can relate. This blog post is coming to an end and I have the pleasure of having put some words and thoughts together and making a point.
Thank you for sticking with me. Till next time. Cheers.