Remember Aretha's song? "All I'm askin' is for a little resperct". If the great Aretha needs to ask for it, what do we everyday people do? The truth is it is very hard to earn respect of people who you depend on and who you admire, and impossible to gain respect of all the rude, hateful, jelous folk. It sometimes seems to me though that the key thing to do in our lives is to earn our own self-respect. I say "earn" cause, at least in my case, I do not respect myself upon the mere fact of my existence. Of course I do think I have a right to live in decent conditions as long as I am not a rapist nor a murdurer. But than again to feel good in my own skin - I need to earn some sort of approval of my acctions from my good ole me.
To be happy with myself I need to feel good about my decisions and do the walk as far as my beliefs go. But if I treat people well, I demand the same in return. Relations are the basis of our existance as social creatures. And we will never build healthy relationships if we let others put us down and milk us. I won't have good relationship with myself if I let others mistreat me.
The two sides of the self respect coin - the respect we gain in our own eyes and the respect we need to have for ourselves in order not to go too deep into toxic relations - go hand in hand. "You can't have one without the other". To teach someone respect for themselves is even harder than learning it for ourselves. And it takes loads of time. However in my eyes giving opportunity to have some self-respect for themselves is crucial in helping people who went through severe times of abuse, neglect, and became victims of violence.
These sorts of life cicumstances crash people's self esteem and to rebuilt the innate sense of self worth, and faith in possibility to gain self-respect, are vital. So let us all focus on our strong points and the good that we do. And why don't we grow in areas we want to, claiming our rights to be happy, wealthy and successful? Have a little respect for yourself to try and earn your self-esteem!
