Rough time

When times get tough it shows the most how we cope with stress and painful emotions. Some drink, some eat too much (my vice), some smoke more than usual, others engage in hard sport activities, drive or ride a motorcycle for miles...you name it. I've been searching  for a useful creative outlet to my sadness, despair, anger and fear. I tried poetry, drawing, writing, meditation, walks with music on and off... They all help, but I've found that none of these is a default means to relieve stress from my body. Eating and sleeping is. And though I've over the years managed to cut my binging and emotional eating, as well as sleeping to a bare minimum of several days when something really bad happens, I still am a 40 years old overweight woman with insulin resistance, who should not in any circumstances stuff her face with chocolate. I wonder if I can make myself - in times of great stress, when my rational brain is overridden by primitive stress reactions - turn to those few calming and relaxing methods that I've mentioned earlier, one to help find creative outlet for all my fear and sadness and two not to harm myself and my body beyond what I already go through when times get rough.
Dealing with stress and painful emotions is a thing that most of us struggle with. It is not that easy to remain positive and optimistic in times of great anger or sorrow. Maybe that's it - the pesimist in me does not believe it all in general comes to good and just gives up. I try to strenghten my inner optimist. I want her back when all my body wants is to give up.

I hate you so much right now

Why hate? Why not? Don't hate, be positive. I'm positive that you're hatered is a real thing. While I think it is smart to see the glass half full and open up in communication with other people, we just cannot - as bright, sensitive people - don't hate and not get negative. The social media is full of cheerful images of perfect, happy people chasing their designer purses and traveling around the globe. And as much as I do not think it is necessary to get envious or bitter about the success of others, the overall hippie-dippy flow of the bloggers era must be taken with a real huge grain of salt.
It is part of human experience on this Earth to feel every single emotion and to  get in touch with good and pretty as much as with wrong and nasty. This world is not really a fairytale place and guess what - your life probably is not a fairytale neither. So do get crazy, do get mad, do despair, do grieve and not let anyone deny you your right to hate. Cause for sure there is much to hate, and always has been, and always will be. Being a hater may not be as bad a thing as it is portrayed. Go against the flow, do you and don't deny yourself your true feelings. Feeling the rainbow might be as healthy as eating the rainbow. Go for it. Live.