Pretty things.

I've got  a thing for cute things. Original, well... nope 🤣 But seriously, since I'd been little my late parents showed me their love through gifts. Everytime my mom had gone shopping, she would have always brought a little something for me. Talking conditioning... I was a spoilt, overfed, over consuming little brat. And a part of me is still that little always devouring small girl.
We know shopping can be as addicting as alcohol and food, and cigarettes. Anything that gives you pleasure, that exciting rush of dopamine, can be addicting. Yes, cleaning up and binge watching YouTube too (guilty 😛).
I am an adult now, but still little pretty, nice, cute things bring me joy. And I like showing my love for people through gifts. What I wish for the future is for me to be able to create and put some soul into what's around me. And more heart and value into what I offer people.
I feel I was sort of bribed as a child with all this stuff into giving my family love. I don't want this in my relations with people. I don't want any guilt tripping - neither others, nor me.And that calls for sound boundaries. This is something I try and work on, though it is real tough at times. Adulting...

I'm getting off my butt... like every time!

Feeling depressed? Anxious? Hopeless? In despair? Hurt? These kinds of feelings may bring down the most optimistic person if felt constantly over long period of time. What can I do not to give in to the temptation of just laying down and surrendering to the grief? Usually I just make myself do activities I must, should, want to be doing. However this constant battle between the rational me that wants to survive and the sad me that just does not feel up to any activity stresses me to the point of exhaustion.
What I found latetly for coping with my depression is to be gentle on myself, very delicate and thoughtful with my mind and body and I started giving myself loads of grace. These may sound like obvious measures, but to my overambitious, masochistic, self-loathing part they were, and to some extent still are, unacceptable symptoms of weakness.
Being good to myself will be a journey where I get to know me better, where I learn to respect and appreciate my strengths and embrace my imperfections. It is truely a beginning of a beautiful friendship. A friendship for lifetime.