A little respect

Remember Aretha's song? "All I'm askin' is for a little resperct". If the great Aretha needs to ask for it, what do we everyday people do? The truth is it is very hard to earn respect of people who you depend on and who you admire, and impossible to gain respect of all the rude, hateful, jelous folk. It sometimes seems to me though that the key thing to do in our lives is to earn our own self-respect. I say "earn" cause, at least in my case, I do not respect myself upon the mere fact of my existence. Of course I do think I have a right to live in decent conditions as long as I am not a rapist nor a murdurer.  But than again to feel good in my own skin - I need to earn some sort of approval of my acctions from my good ole me.
To be happy with myself I need to feel good about my decisions and do the walk as far as my beliefs go. But if I treat people well, I demand the same in return. Relations are the basis of our existance as social creatures. And we will never build healthy relationships if we let others put us down and milk us. I won't have good relationship with myself if I let others mistreat me.
The two sides of the self respect coin - the respect we gain in our own eyes and the respect we need to have for ourselves in order not to go too deep into toxic relations - go hand in hand. "You can't have one without the other". To teach someone respect for themselves is even harder than learning it for ourselves. And it takes loads of time. However in my eyes giving opportunity to have some self-respect for themselves is crucial in helping people who went through severe times of abuse, neglect, and became victims of violence.
These sorts of life cicumstances crash people's self esteem and to rebuilt the innate sense of self worth, and faith in possibility to gain self-respect, are vital. So let us all focus on our strong points and the good that we do. And why don't we grow in areas we want to, claiming our rights to be happy, wealthy and successful? Have a little respect for yourself to try and earn your self-esteem!

What are my boundaries? On adulthood.

Isn't that a life-long process to realize how close we want to let different people into our private zone and how far we can enter theirs? I don't think boundaries are something we can define a priori. We learn ourselves and others and all the dynamics, in the process of each life situation, in all relationships.
There were times in my life I had let people come too close and I don't want them around me anymore. I don't regret the lessons that came from that though. The older I get, the further I go, the more clarity over what is right and wrong for me at any particular moment I aqcuire. But as I learn to love and respect myself and not allow others to hurt me and boss me around, same is true the other way around. Love and acceptance for others mean, they are different than I am, they have the right to their own opinion and freedom. I don't own anyone anymore than anyone owns me.
These are really obvious conclusions, how often do we violate these basic truths yet? How often have we not got any respect for ourselves and others, how often are we clueless in relationships?
Boundaries - ability to set them for ourselves and respect the fact that others set them for us - make living with people less abusive, less frustrating and more straightforward. This calls for quite a great deal od maturity - the condition we sometimes lack.
But hey! Being an adult rules! You get to walk Your own path unsupervized and stay up late. Oh - and You make Your own money and decisions. You make friends, lovers and foes on Your own terms. This sort of independence makes the harsh sides of being a grown-up worth it. Do grow up people. Children are adorable till they turn 19. Then its just a pity to watch.

Music is my freedom

For me freedom is acceptance of myself - both my thoughts and my emotions - and ability to decide if I wish to express my feelings or not. Do I follow my heart or my mind? I decide every time I'm confused.
The problem for me is I can't always make head or tails of what I am actually feeling or thinking. This is where my music comes in. I tune into different beats, let myself dive into rythms and find me soaring on the wings of tunes. The freedom that music gives me is the freedom to let my spirit lose and make peace with itself and to deeply get in touch with my feeelings when I am not in position to act on them.
This kind of freedom is a sort of passive freedom, freedom in helplessness. But it gives me space to get connected to me, to feel deeply into my soul and get in tune with the inner beat of the world.
Music connects people spiritually in ways seldom possible otherwise. To be able to express one self through music must be amazing. But also consuming sounds, beats and melodies makes me extremely happy. It relaxes, it excites, it enrages, it makes me smile and fall in love.
Some music therapy anyone? Highly recommend :)