Why I do not believe in energy from crystals but they still work

Definitely we've been hearing for years now from different people who form our popular ideas that crystals, which you can charge in the moonlight and hold in your hand or put on different parts of your body can somehow heal us and transfer their energy onto us.

But they're just rocks, aren't they?

So I think, yes, they are rocks, they don't get charged by the full moon. They do not work this sort of energy magic that is sold mainly to young women in order to trick them into thinking it is easy to overcome obstacles of life.

But crystals are parts of nature, beautiful like spring blossoms, mountains and sea shore, birds and butterflies and newborn babies. They are calm and predictable, cool and indifferent. They offer to soothe our pain through contemplating their origins, their stillness and their charm.

They do the same thing that all beautiful things - from puppies to works of art - do. They put us in a state of admiration that helps us distract from our aches and problems. Simultaneously they give as the pure pleasure that comes from experiencing true values. Because beauty is a true value. And by having true values in our lives, even only as spectators, our lives become more precious.

And this is how I think crystals work.

Why I can't be fat

Fatness is not something we should accept as is and not do anything about it. Period. As a person who has always struggled with her weight I know first hand it sucks to be heavy. It's not really an aesthetic problem, it's a huge medical issue. But also the factor that makes your daily life that much harder and uncomfortable.

Acceptance does not mean not seeking change. For me accepting my large body means being honest with myself about:

• having tendency to overeat for pleasure,
• loving my food,
• being an emotional eater,
• not really liking myself in the larger version,
• having clothes I am frustrated not to fit into,
• and acknowlegding all the aches, pains and lacks in physical shape that go hand in hand with the extra kilos.

I do accept myself in the skin I am, but that also means that I can feel I am not happy. As wise people say: acceptance is the first and necessary step to making change. Acceptance is not about letting yourself go. It is about understanding your needs, preferences and problems. 

We can find a solution only when we clearly state the problem with all it's impacting factors.

Acceptance for me is a sort of evaluation of the good and the bad in my life and what needs to stay and what needs to change.

The state of my body needs to improve. I want to get to my ideal weight (not that low for that matter) and get back into physical shape. In the summer I need to be as mobile as I can be, going for long long walks and enjoying beautiful weather. I cannot accept that I put myself in a situation of poor health. And for what? Another cookie?

It is important to live your life and be happy. And food is one of the more miniscule daily joys. I will not trade my happiness and freedom to enjoy different sides of life for even the most delicious meals. It's absurd. Do not fall into the trap of giving up on yourself and crushing your health in a false belief of fatness being normal and something you cannot change. You can. And when you do, you will know you had not been living your best life.

Get healthy! Lose weight!

The idea that high fashion is a form of art - mixed feelings

Fashion as an art form is worshipped by so many people, who religiously follow the catwalks, the glossy trendsetting magazines and the red carpet gowns of rich and famous people. This colourful crowd has always seem to me a little bit ridiculous, but also a little bit curious. Thoughts of Salvador Dali and his unruly and grothesque pop culture creations seem to come to mind when I look at a Vogue. Art for sale seems like sex for money to me. I must be skewd that way. 

So my questions are: Why do so many subscribe to all the ideas that creators of fashion throw at us? Why is there so little critisism? Why do people worship at the altar of a Chanel bag?

Fashion as a way to manifest my personality, mood, ideologies I adopt and my sense of what is cute and cool, has always followed me through life. And maybe because I like to stand out from the crowd, I do not want to be a slave to the aesthetic visions that come from somebody else. Anybody. Not even Gucci, Hermes or Dolce & Gabbana. I feel a bit shocked knowing that having that latest or even classic shoes or bags, or garments costs fortune. And I do not mean - well do not buy expensive things, give the money to charity. It's your money you are free to use it as you wish. But I do not understand WHY should I pay the loads of cash that designer pieces cost if I can have well crafted, beautiful and unique thing for a fraction. To me fashion industry is too tendy and too mass media friendly to be an art form. But then maybe I grew up thinking the best art is produced from despair and hunger.

Don't get me wrong, the craftsmanship that goes into making most od the high fashion pieces is outstanding. And visions the designers have are often extraoridinary. Maybe in a way fashion is a medium of making art absorbsion more inclusive. Why go to an exhibition when you can whatch your catwalk show on tv or laptop? But then, without the catwalk, people might not see any extravagancy, there would be no creative initiative?

I think really, that being a slave to high fashion and the worshipper of any of that famous fashion creators is an easy way out to seem cool and current. I do not suppose that when there is any strong, important message in some of the designer work, it gets to many of their followers. Fashion is easy. Too easy. Like snapping a photo with a mobile. It gives people a false notion of being better than others for buying overprized stuff. And it makes you seem interested in art - in forms and colours and composition. But you get a MacDonald burger instead of real raw steak. The meat is not there in the fashion industry. The meat is in books, galleries, concert halls and long discussions with people, who like to share ideas, thoughts and will debate you to the ground.

Road to wisdom

When do you know you're wise? If you are, you never do. Only if you're dumb you can think highly of yourself. When have we lost this notion? Why is there so little respect towards nature and its secrets? Why are we so arrogant? Why do we lack humility?

It seems that one can buy anything nowadays if they got means for it. Respect, education, social position, power and  beauty. But all these are so skin deep, so superficial. To dream big is to dream of having a lot. He who has the money is the idol, the golden calf. It's so ironic and sad, but we, as the Western culture, have lost almost all of our sacrum, all that is crucial for our identity. We are careless - with love, with family, with knowledge, with our time. It's hard for us to teach our children what's right and wrong. Because we ourselves  don't know. All we can do is copy each other, in hope that our degrating sociaties can give us the right direction. The road. So we finish school, get a job, earn and spend money. Have children, travel, have good and bad times. We read blogs and books and newspapers and some of us think of ourselves as intelligent, knowledgeable. But are we? Are we really? If your smart you are aware that the more you experience the world, the bigger the scope of the mysterious. But smart means active, critical, independent, curious. These features of character were what drove our culture for centuries. Only to come to drastic decline. And be replaced by following the herd, oblivion, lack of interest and mediocrity.

What a shame - that generally in the Western Societies we are not wise. And that we feel no shame.

Despair and how I numb myself.

I always wonder if any of us lives with despair without some sort of numbing. The brain does all things crazy to keep us alive, and grief takes us under in seconds. Processing pain seems impossible to me. So I close it in a deep far corner of my soul, letting out only droplets at a time, dealing with shadows, reflections, suggestions.
I am not capable of feeling the emotions that drag me down, the wave seems to me a tsunami, destroying any joy, hope and faith I have.
So I float on the surface, enjoying my coffee, good food, pets, beer and music, vain and shallow existence, only to find myself from time to time longing for that thing that I cannot name and fearing things I don't know of.
Beautiful sounds of grunge music remind me of times and spaces I used to know and used to love. But - where are they? What are they? I better not ask.

Minimalism or intentionality.

Minimalism is the buzz word right now. Decluttering is the mantra of the first world. Clear, airy spaces, monochrome design, simplicity and downsizing are the answers to overconsumption that crushes us under huge piles of garbage.
I just cannot be a minimalist. I like cosy, a bit cluttered, warm interior of my home. All the things I own are of value and meaning to me. Nevertheless I do go through our aparment once in a while and find stuff to give to others or dispose of,  hopefully in the least wasteful manner possible.
What I do commit to is intentional living and intentional consumption. From food, through books, music, appointments, sporting activities to clothes shoes and handbags - I try and appreciate what I have. I am mindful of what and how much I am able to use up or take advantage of. And I attempt to use my time and money wisely.
These are of course premises that I set for myself. Overconsumption always wears me out. Some mental hygene hopefully helps in releaving any anxiety and depression that every so often comes my way. We all need to carry ourselves sensibly in this ridicolous age of advertising and propaganda.
Take care and be intentional!

Pretty things.

I've got  a thing for cute things. Original, well... nope 🤣 But seriously, since I'd been little my late parents showed me their love through gifts. Everytime my mom had gone shopping, she would have always brought a little something for me. Talking conditioning... I was a spoilt, overfed, over consuming little brat. And a part of me is still that little always devouring small girl.
We know shopping can be as addicting as alcohol and food, and cigarettes. Anything that gives you pleasure, that exciting rush of dopamine, can be addicting. Yes, cleaning up and binge watching YouTube too (guilty 😛).
I am an adult now, but still little pretty, nice, cute things bring me joy. And I like showing my love for people through gifts. What I wish for the future is for me to be able to create and put some soul into what's around me. And more heart and value into what I offer people.
I feel I was sort of bribed as a child with all this stuff into giving my family love. I don't want this in my relations with people. I don't want any guilt tripping - neither others, nor me.And that calls for sound boundaries. This is something I try and work on, though it is real tough at times. Adulting...